Honestly, I really did not have any girl names I liked, so that stress is off of me thank goodness! James' middle name is Nathan so we want to use James and Nathan in the boys' names. Cole James will be one boy, and the other is still up in the air, but how fun to get to use two names?! I am so happy for my husband. He gets up for work at 5am and doesn't get home from work until 6pm every day, comes home and does yardwork, helps me with the girls, and rarely gets to do anything fun for himself. He never complains, and he will always do anything I ask him to. He even watches the Bachelorette with me. (I would say he even watches Teen Mom with me, but he loves it as much as I do...some chick shows are not a sacrifice). While he is an amazing father to girls, he is a "guys guy" and is so into sports and boy things. I am thrilled for him that he got his boys, because he deserves it so much, plain and simple. He said it was the best day of his life. I will forgive him that our wedding day wasn't, even though because of that he has twin boys! Hehehe :)
One of the "privileges" if you want to call it that, of having high risk twins, is frequent ultrasounds, so we get to see our babies often. Most people don't find out what they are having until after 20 weeks so I am really happy to know already since we literally have to buy everything, make a nursery, and I only have 10 weeks left until I am in the hospital. When we first got into the ultrasound, the tech told us she wouldn't tell us what they are because it is so early, she said she never tells that early in case if she is wrong. We were so bummed because the Doctor had told us we should be able to find out. After chatting with her, she told us that maybe when the Doctor came in he would look and tell us. He pulled up a baby, and pointed at the screen and said, "guess what?" I thought, "here it is, girls! James will be so outnumbered!" But he said, "Boys! See that on the screen? It's boys, I don't even have to look at the other one because I know." I asked him, "How sure are you?!!" He said, "Oh I'm pretty sure!" And then I said, "Are you sure you aren't just seeing the other baby's foot?!" He assured me with a laugh that it was not a foot, it was boy parts. He said that usually when a mistake is made, it is that they think it is a girl but "she" actually has "her" legs crossed in a way that hides "the goods". He said when they see a boy part, that part is there so it's obvious. I HOPE HE IS RIGHT AT THIS POINT! I guess in 2 weeks we will get our for sure.
Along with the good news, came some bad however. Our ultrasound was an hour and both the doctor and the tech looked in 2 and 3D (which was really cool to see!) for a membrane, one last hope of finding one, but it is now 100% that there is no chance of one. To further confirm that and to our dismay, you can already see that the babies' cords are all twisted. We are only at 14 weeks, and viability is 24 weeks so we are just hoping and praying that over the next 10 weeks as they move around and the cords continue to twist and tangle, that they remain okay. The doctor said that there have been many cases of Momo twins where the cords were so knotted but the babies were born healthy, and worrying will do no good. I agree, and have tried to just think positively and know that either way, God's will is what is best and that is what I want. My faith has always given me strength and hope, and I am so glad I can rest in that.
The babies are measuring exactly at 14 weeks which is what they are, so that is good, and they are both the same size, which is also good. I will go back every 2 weeks for ultrasounds to check their growth and be on the lookout for Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. After losing 8 pounds in the first trimester from all the sickness and vomiting, I finally have gained back 4 pounds, even though the evenings are still miserable for me. I am so glad to see the scale creeping up though, and this will be the only time in my life you will hear me say that! So there is the good news, the big news, and the bad news.
Onto other news, sad but happy news, and the big changes; the first of our lives not being the same anymore. James and I have been together for 12 years! A year or so into our relationship, he got a puppy we named Daisy. A yellow lab who has been our family member all this time. She is such a good dog, a true companion, and a protector. We even made up a voice for her that we would talk in from time to time, and if you would witness it you would think we are certifiably insane.
Upon finding out I would spend 2 months in the hospital on bedrest, and James would be at work or with me and the girls at that time, followed by a crazy next few months of trips to the NICU and bringing home preemies, we decided that Daisy should be "pet foster cared". We knew she wouldn't get any attention and just feeding her and letting her out would get complicated. It will be a complicated time on so many levels. A day or so after we decided this, I was telling my mother in law. She said to tell a mutual friend, because they were looking for a dog like a yellow lab. Ok God, I hear you! So after talking with the friend, she told me that yes they are looking for a dog, but that they would love her too much to give her back then and would we consider them adopting her?
After much thought and discussion, we decided that this is a case of "if you love someone then sometimes it is best to let them go." The only good reasons we could think of for keeping her were selfish ones. Because we wanted her around, because we would miss her so much, those kinds of things. I knew this family was one with great compassion and they are "dog people" who would give Daisy all the attention we just will not be able to through the bedrest and preemie time, as well as just having 4 kids under 5 and two of them twin babies. Daisy deserves the best because she is the best. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is people getting pets just because they want them or because they are cute, and then neglecting the pets needs. Dogs in cages, tied to chains, never petted, never walked, yelled at for being in the way or for being naughty when all they want is attention. All because people are selfish. Keeping Daisy, when she was offered a loving home with lots of attention and affection, would have been selfish. We had her for a lonnng time, this is not a case of us getting a pet then deciding we didn't want it, which happens all too often. Nor was it a case of, a baby is coming so the dog's gotta go...if you had told me two weeks ago that tonight I would be dogless I would have said no way.
Tonight they came to pick her up. She was so happy, jumped right in their car, and had her doggy smile on. We made the agreement if she ever seems depressed, she will come back, but I think she is in great hands and will have a very happy life. It was hard however, all week knowing she was not going to be mine anymore. She is always by my side, always laid by the bed when I napped, was my walking buddy, and protector. But it wasn't about me. Our house has a security system, but there is just something about having a dog. It is weird not having her bowls there, or her bed there, or worrying about tripping over her, or her barking when someone is at the door and waking the baby. Shoot, now when I spill food on the floor I will have to clean it up instead of calling Daisy :( Who will eat my pizza crust now? Things are a changin'...but I think it's all good, and obviously meant to be.
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