Well, we've just about made it! The original goal was to get to 32 weeks, and I knew a lot of Momo mom's don't make it that far but I always felt like I would and I thankfully did. Tomorrow is delivery day, on exactly 32 weeks. What a blessing to be here :) Of course I wish I could safely carry them to full term for another month or two but that is not possible so this is a great case scenario in my situation. I am just so grateful for and fascinated by the process of my body making 2 babies!! As a woman it was very empowering for me after the birth of my first 2 daughters. Also just fascinating and wonderful what the body and our creator can do!!! Before pregnancy and motherhood I had was more concerned with self image issues, and afterwards while I still do sometimes feel a little flabby or what have you, I felt a new sense that what my body was created to do, it did, and I respect it and am thankful for it. The whole process is just amazing. And a little extra flab or sag here and there, while not fun to look at, is just a happy reminder of the blessing of carrying little lives and being able to be their sole source of nourishment. Just awesome.
So how did we finally decide on the big when? A pastor and a friend from my church came to visit me one morning last week and prayed with me for the Doctors to have wisdom to decide on the "right" delivery day etc, and minutes after they left one of my Doctors came in and told me they all agreed and felt strongly that 32 weeks should be the day. I felt as at peace with that as I think I can, and knew that's the decision because I prayed my heart would know and it did. I can't tell you what a relief it is just to KNOW when. I think nomatter what decision would have been made, in this situation you always wonder if it is the right one and you'll never know that. My nurses tonight all said that I've dropped, and paired with the monitoring strips from this weekend they wouldn't doubt if I had gone into labor on my own in the next week or two anyway. That wouldn't be ideal with Momo twins, but it is kind of a pointer that this is right. Now it is in God's hands and I am thankful for my faith! I am also SO very thankful for all of you who have prayed for and encouraged us. This blog is up to almost 2,700 views from all over the world and it is awesome both the friends and family I have praying and rooting for us, but also those I've never even met. I am humbled by you all and so grateful.
So, my C Section is scheduled for 10am on Tuesday unless someone emergent needs one before me. I am thankful my mom and James will be there by my side and share in that amazing moment. The nurse said most babies do cry at 32 weeks when they come out and I know MY tears will start rolling then too! I am not a crier and have not cried much in here but that will be such an emotional moment. I cannot wait to see their little faces, talk to them, touch them, and hold them. I can't wait to see what their cords look like either. Will they be horribly twisted? Braided? Knotted? Or somehow miraculously not? They are going to be so teeny! At my ultrasound this past Wednesday they said that the babies are approximately 3.8 and 3.9 pounds. I just wanted them to get over 3 pounds and they are which makes me really happy. God has been so good throughout this. I know he chose James and I, Abigail and Emma, and our families and so despite the stresses, what an honor to be 1 in 10,000! It still just blows my mind.
I AM HAVING BABIES TOMORROW!!! What a mix of emotions I feel! Extreme excitement, nervousness, fear, happiness, anticipation, relief and anything else you can imagine. I am so excited that next week at this time I will be at HOME my house and my bed, to sleep next to my husband, wake up to my beautiful big girls, to be outside whenever I want and enjoy fall weather, not get stuck with a needle 6-9 times a day! I am sad I have to leave the babies behind here, but also thankful that my body will be able to heal for a bit and not be taking care of all 4 kids all at once with a fresh incision. I also hear NICU babies get put on a schedule that is convenient when they come home so I am hoping that is true, that would be great!
I am nervous for the next chapter, when they will be in the NICU knowing what can go wrong, but I try to just give that nervousness to God and not stress myself out (which I tend to be quite good at!). I have heard a lot of great stories, and a lot of not so great ones. Recently, I just had a neighbor in here who had her babies a little before 32 weeks and they have been in the NICU doing well for 3 weeks now and one was set to come home today and then they found out he actually needs a blood transfusion and had stopped eating etc... I know I have to remember that with preemies it is most often 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but I just hope our girls don't have to go through much suffering through procedures and equipment etc... I just have to have FAITH and remember that it is in God's hands, they are His too, and no matter what there is nothing I can do but pray, keep the faith, and love those babies. I will cherish the time I get to come in and just hold them and comfort them, take care of them, nurse them and be their mommy. I am grateful for the NICU nurses who will do their best to keep them healthy and alive! They will probably be in NICU for about a month if all goes well. I think at a certain point this will all seem like just a glimmer in time.
" Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2
If you are praying for us, again, THANK YOU! Please pray for safety through the surgery, healthy babies at birth and through their NICU stay, and for adjustments to life with NICU babies and then when we bring them home. Also, I just got a third round of steroid shots to help with the babies lung development. However, the steroids make your blood sugar shoot up for about a week. Since I have gestational diabetes, this is a bit of a problem. It makes my blood sugar high, and makes the babies' blood sugar high as well (called Hypergycemia). Their bodies make insulin too and they then feed off the placenta. Once they are born, they don't have that placenta anymore to help regulate them. They are at risk for low blood sugar (Hypoglycemia) and the will have to get blood sugar pricks and probably an IV to manage it. And the diabetes also means their lungs will have less development than if I did not have diabetes. So this is something we are praying about as well.